Episode 27 - You Get to Be You

Let your voices really bloom, especially those who have a hard time asking for what they need, giving negative opinions, and more. We discuss why this is hard and ways to practice standing up for yourself.

Takeaways

• When you want something, being direct is the best way.
• Women tend to struggle more than men in asking for what they want or need from others, as society’s rules tell women to be non-aggressive.
• There will always be safety in numbers, but we must  learn to stand up for ourselves.
• People pleasing is a survival mechanism. Women naturally need bonds, so doing something to disrupt those is scary.
• Feminism has a negative connotation to many because it's seen as extreme, but the reality is there are still too men and women  who are not accustomed to a woman speaking powerfully and being able to create healthy boundaries that  tell people how they get to speak to her.
• Self-awareness is key in changing a behavior or pattern that doesn’t work for you. Once aware, you can begin to acknowledge, accept, and figure out how to move forward. 
• Every thought we have is a choice. Human beings are wired for negativity bias as a survival mechanism.
• If a negative belief keeps recurring, label it a story and dismiss it.
• Having a positive mindset takes work. Tell yourself that you deserve good things, even if you have to fake it until you believe it. If that doesn’t feel right, pay attention to your current thoughts without judgment.
• When learning to use our voices and trying to be positive, beware toxic positivity. This is where you negate life experiences and dismiss the experiences of others with things like “just move on” or “it’ll be fine,” or any other cliche. This can be harmful.
• Allow yourself to feel feelings, and you don’t need to berate yourself for it or create correlations. 
• Take a moment to express gratitude for who you are and where you're at in this moment without judging yourself for it.  
• There are different kinds of therapy, some that focus on the past and some that focus on right now. Choose what feels best to you and do research.

Resources

• https://whatwillittake.com/inspiration/women-here-are-10-important-ways-to-use-your-voice/
• https://www.forbes.com/sites/civicnation/2020/02/26/mark-my-words-there-is-power-in-your-voice/?sh=56bdfe4b3b77
• https://www.verywellmind.com/types-of-psychotherapy-for-depression-1067407
• https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3250347-the-happiness-trap
• https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180612-the-reasons-why-womens-voices-are-deeper-today
• https://thepsychologygroup.com/toxic-positivity/
• https://theconversation.com/how-to-avoid-toxic-positivity-and-take-the-less-direct-route-to-happiness-170260

Socials

• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloomingvoicespodcast/ 
• Twitter - https://twitter.com/VoicesBlooming 
• Email - bloomingvoicespodcast@gmail.com
• Website - https://www.bloomingvoices.com/